July 27th, 2010
How do you know when you’re running away from a problem instead of solving it? When is a fresh start really the right answer?
My mother is considering selling her townhouse and moving out-of-state. She wants to get a better grip on her finances, which I admire, but she simultaneously wants to avoid a family situation that is upsetting her.
I understand the powerful draw of ‘starting over’ in a new place, meeting all new people, trying to build new routines for your day. But, I also know that you’re stuck with who you are at the fundamental levels. You might be farther away from certain toxic people, but you can’t simply move away from your memories and personality. You’re still you, just in a different place.
Tags: Contemplation, Family, Moving, Personality
Posted in Musings
July 21st, 2010
I just purged my closet of ill/non-fitting pants. And a few terribly stained t-shirts. Seriously, I just threw out over half of the pants I owned. I’d have donated them if they were in wearable condition, but alas.
I’m going to make an effort to buy a new shirt every week or two for the next couple of months in order to improve my wardrobe slightly. I have no plans to become fashionable, but it would be nice to have more than a half dozen shirts that are appropriate for wearing in public, heh.
The majority of pants I threw out had holes in the thighs. That’s a problem I wish I didn’t have. It’s a problem I know I could do something about if I really focused. I’m so good at making excuses though. Going out to dinner with my husband gives us quality time together away from the slew of electronic devices we’d be drawn to at home. Cook at home is often stressful and unfulfilling because the kitchen is usually a mass of empty 12-pack cartons, dirty dishes, and ancient leftovers. Going to the gym on a regular basis would mean spending less time with family and friends. See? I’m great at excuses. I have lots more, trust me.
Balance is not something I excel at when it comes to my health. I need to find an approach that isn’t all-or-nothing.
Tags: Health, Tidying Up
Posted in Vitality
July 10th, 2010
I was doing a bit of cleaning this morning and ran across an old CD with this photo of my grandma on it. When I was in college I took a photoshop class and we had to do a restoration of an old picture. I chose the one above. Would you believe it used to have water spots and creases through it?
Anyway, it was a lot of fun restoring the photo. She was so beautiful when she was young! I wish I had been able to get to know her better. I think I would appreciate her a lot more now, as an adult. If I could go back to when she was 50yrs old or so, and have dinner with her, I bet I’d learn a lot about her life. I know it wasn’t an easy one.
Tags: Art, Family, Tidying Up
Posted in Pictures
July 7th, 2010
So, I’ve been watching this show on Hulu for the past couple of days. It’s turning in to a fun guilty pleasure. Anyway, in the fifth episode there’s a great line:
It’s like you are in a boat. You’ve got this one oar over here and it’s just rowing and rowing and rowing, you know, furiously fueled by everyone else’s expectations. And that’s never gonna stop. But, it’s kind of got you going around in circles, cause if you want to move forward, then you also have to row with the oar that represents how you see yourself.
Sometimes I feel like I’m only equipped with an oar and a half. I don’t always have a very clear vision of who I am, or who I believe I could become if I worked at it. The internet can make it so easy to hide this truth – I can edit and photoshop the current moment, and, to some extent, delete the past.
It’s not the same as having two oars.
Tags: Personal Goals, Personality
Posted in Musings
