I do, I quit.

It’s time to end the guilt and inaction thing. I’ve been making strides, even if they seem a little off target, but I do feel less stagnant and that’s a good thing.

Anyway, what have I been up to? I experimented with roasted brussel sprouts a couple of days ago! (That was my New Year’s Resolution!) I also went to see the frozen waterfall yesterday! And I started knitting something (relatively) successfully for the first time recently!

Alright, so none of that is super exciting, but fighting the post-Christmas/winter blues is always a little rough for me. It’s nice to be able to see  the end of winter off in the distance! It’s even been in the 30’s for a few days now… (though there is more snow due on Saturday, I think. Boo!) Better days are coming!

Ahh, the guilt of procrastination. It freezes me at times. Take the past month, for instance. I see this endless list of things I’m ’supposed’ to do, things I’ve brought upon myself, but I don’t do them. I don’t know why… surely I’d feel more free if I completed these things. But, I’m still here, stuck. The guilt causes me to avoid things I love as a sort of punishment – if I can’t honor my personal commitments, why should I allow myself to blog? Or take new photographs? I’m not sure there’s logic in it, but it’s the way my brain works sometimes.

I wish I could organize my personal life as easily as I can my work and school lives. I rarely fall behind when I am accountable to someone other than myself, when I have a manager or teacher to please. Why can’t I award myself the same respect and discipline? Why can’t I do the same for friends or family?

*sigh* Maybe admitting this will make me feel accountable. Maybe I’ll actually complete those commitments someday. It’d surely be better than wallowing in this guilt.

I’m going to a payroll law seminar today. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to it exactly, but I’m sure I’ll learn a few things. It’s just another thing on my never ending ‘to-do’ list.

I think I need to figure out when I can take some vacation time so I can work on some things. I still have a ton of photos to edit from December. I took them over a month ago, and I just keep running out of time for editing. And my spring class started, it’s an online class, so I’ll be needing to devote time to that as well. And I haven’t been to the gym for a while, though that’s partially because I had a nasty cold or something at the beginning of the year. But, I’m basically well now so I shouldn’t make excuses any more. Obviously I haven’t been blogging either.

I wish the world would stop for a day or six so I could get caught up!