Ahh, the guilt of procrastination. It freezes me at times. Take the past month, for instance. I see this endless list of things I’m ’supposed’ to do, things I’ve brought upon myself, but I don’t do them. I don’t know why… surely I’d feel more free if I completed these things. But, I’m still here, stuck. The guilt causes me to avoid things I love as a sort of punishment – if I can’t honor my personal commitments, why should I allow myself to blog? Or take new photographs? I’m not sure there’s logic in it, but it’s the way my brain works sometimes.

I wish I could organize my personal life as easily as I can my work and school lives. I rarely fall behind when I am accountable to someone other than myself, when I have a manager or teacher to please. Why can’t I award myself the same respect and discipline? Why can’t I do the same for friends or family?

*sigh* Maybe admitting this will make me feel accountable. Maybe I’ll actually complete those commitments someday. It’d surely be better than wallowing in this guilt.

I don’t like small talk. It’s annoying, and time consuming, and it takes sooooo loooong to get to anything good. I wish people could just be who they are. *sigh*

It’s rare that I’m interested in hearing about the new shoes you found on sale at a store I’ve never shopped in. Likewise, I acknowledge that you are probably not interested in the motherboard reviews from the most recent issue of CPU, so I’ll spare you my opinion. But, if you’re going to tell me about your shoes, tell me something real. Like maybe they remind you of shoes your mom wore when she was young, and she always looked beautiful in them. Or maybe the color is exactly the same color as your first car, and you remember sitting in it after high school listening to No Doubt on the radio and dreaming of the boy you liked.

I know, I’m as bad as the next person most of the time. I keep things neat, and on the surface. I don’t get into the nitty gritty unpolished bits. I like to believe we all have deep and rich inner worlds, so why don’t we share that stuff more often? Wouldn’t it help us focus on what is really important, rather than on all the crap?

I’m just not feeling it today, this blogging thing. I don’t have a semi-organized topic and links to share. It’s Saturday, and I’m lazy. My laundry is clean and dry, but not put away. It’s currently getting wrinkly in the baskets I just hauled back from laundry room, hauled down the looooong apartment hallway. Trust me, it is a crazy long hallway.

Can I just ramble a little? Is that alright?

I joined BlogHer yesterday. “The Community for Women who Blog.” Women. Huh.

Woman.

I am one, but I don’t feel like one. I feel more like a gal. Or maybe a chica. A woman is so… feminine and old. Well, older than me anyway. Like 45ish. Anyway, I haven’t found my niche there yet. The money & personal finance section is kinda cool. I’ll probably enjoy the Arts section as well once I get into it. However, a husband & wife duo doesn’t seem to count as a “family” – they’re just a “couple”. The whole place seems very mommy-blogger oriented.

As I get older, I guess that’s something I need to get used to. Once you’re past your crazy 20-something days, the whole world is pretty much mommy/parent oriented.

*sigh*

There are a lot of great literary themes in this world, but one of my very favorites is from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

It is possible to go to bed as one person, and awake the next morning as a brand new person.

What’s not to love about that? I mean, sure, the guy has some horrible and frightening encounters with the spirit world, but he wakes up a changed man! One day everyone thinks he’s a lost cause, and the next he’s out righting his wrongs! Perhaps he only starts doing good things to save his soul from eternal fire and brimstone, but I like to think he truly saw what he was missing – the many happinesses this world has to offer that are not derived specifically from money.

Jon and I were able to see an advance screening of the new Disney version of A Christmas Carol tonight. It’s a decent enough adaptation I suppose, but I can be a tough one to please. After seeing the Muppet version and falling head-over-heels in love with it, every other version can only attempt to reach the high bar it set.

The new Disney movie was presented in 3D, and it was very well done. I’d give that aspect of the film 4.5-out-of-5 stars. The rest, well… the animation style didn’t do it for me, and the voices bothered me quite a bit. Both went back and forth between very realistic and rather cartoonish, and the inconsistency didn’t allow me to maintain my suspension of disbelief. The Ghost of Christmas Past was fascinating, until it spoke, and after a couple of minutes its face really annoyed me. I did enjoy their take on the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come though. Very cool! I give the overall movie experience 3.25-out-of-5 stars. If you dig 3D, and aren’t as picky about animation and voice acting as I am, you’ll probably really enjoy it!