37, Or 38 If You Include This
In 2010, I only added 37 blog posts to this site. Well, 38 posts after this one.
Is that really all I have to share? No, it’s not. Is that all I’m comfortable sharing, with quite a few people I know in real-life viewing my photos and reading what I write? Perhaps.
I would like this to change. I would like to be a little more open, more candid. It’s tricky though, standing on this stage and speaking to people who know me in different ways – Daughter, Wife, Friend, Coworker, etc. It’s kind of scary.
Here’s to a more frank and undisguised me in 2011.
Where Am I Headed?
Let’s start off by establishing that I don’t have a great track record when it comes to determining a goal and following through on that goal. Actually, that’s not true, it’s just that many of the goals I have been determined enough to achieve were not terribly important. Making the college dance team, while fun, did not improve the quality of my life in a lasting way.
One of the things I feel I got right was being hired for my current job. It took a couple of tries, but eventually they caved in and let me have a go at it. *grin* We’ll see on Friday at my annual review if they think I’m doing a good job, heh. Anyway, that accomplishment WILL impact my future job prospects, hopefully for the better.
So, what’s next? You can probably tell from a few of my more recent posts that my self concept is not wrapped up with a tidy bow. I need growth and change. The main part that has me stuck right now is, what do I have the power to change on my own, and what requires a joint effort with my husband? For me, this question shows the most difficult part of being married – I’ve agreed to go on a life journey WITH another person, which is an absolute joy, but it also means I can’t be the sole decision maker or pace driver for action. It means I need to ask ‘Where are WE headed?’ instead, and waiting for the answer is terribly frustrating for a girl like me.
The Long Trend
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trends. It’s partly because I’m in an economics class, sure, but it applies to so many things. Eating poorly for one day does not make you unhealthy. Likewise, eating all your fruits and veggies for one day doesn’t make you healthy. The same type of thing holds true for finances. And for relationships. And for personal hygiene and general cleanliness. And for smartness, compassion, open-mindedness, and intelligence. Who I am tomorrow is highly dependent on my long term trends, on how I do things +80% of the time.
Yesterday I posted the following on Facebook:
Does the thing you want today move you closer to, or farther from, the life you want tomorrow?
‘The thing’ I want today does not have to be a material object. It could simply be that I want to sit on my couch, watch TV, and relax, or spend all my extra money on entertainment and restaurant food. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things, but when they become a trend I have to ask myself if I like the direction I’m headed. So, it would be good for me to ask myself the question more frequently. I certainly have a few trends that could use improvement or fine tuning.
My Shampoo is Not Important
I got my hair trimmed last week. I’m not usually big on making small-talk with the stylist, and my trim was no exception. But, there’s the inevitable sales pitch near the end of the cut. ‘If you want, I could add some lowlights that would look great on you.’ and ‘We’ve got some nice shampoos on sale this week.’ I’m fine with brushing off add-on sales, but then the stylist decided to ask what kind of shampoo I use. I informed her that I often use generic shampoo, or whatever is cheap.
That answer didn’t go over very well with her.
She proceeded to ask me if I would buy a house that had a bad foundation and a leaky roof, as if to suggest that my shampoo brand has the same vital importance as the structural integrity of my home. I was so stunned I really didn’t answer her. I’m still rather baffled by the comparison. My shampoo is just not important.
Run and Hide?
How do you know when you’re running away from a problem instead of solving it? When is a fresh start really the right answer?
My mother is considering selling her townhouse and moving out-of-state. She wants to get a better grip on her finances, which I admire, but she simultaneously wants to avoid a family situation that is upsetting her.
I understand the powerful draw of ‘starting over’ in a new place, meeting all new people, trying to build new routines for your day. But, I also know that you’re stuck with who you are at the fundamental levels. You might be farther away from certain toxic people, but you can’t simply move away from your memories and personality. You’re still you, just in a different place.
Your Host
Feed and Read
