Run and Hide?
How do you know when you’re running away from a problem instead of solving it? When is a fresh start really the right answer?
My mother is considering selling her townhouse and moving out-of-state. She wants to get a better grip on her finances, which I admire, but she simultaneously wants to avoid a family situation that is upsetting her.
I understand the powerful draw of ‘starting over’ in a new place, meeting all new people, trying to build new routines for your day. But, I also know that you’re stuck with who you are at the fundamental levels. You might be farther away from certain toxic people, but you can’t simply move away from your memories and personality. You’re still you, just in a different place.
My Quirky Apartment Community
The apartment complex that I currently live in has a really odd atmosphere. It’s almost like a retirement home, but way cooler. Roughly half the apartments in the complex are rented by people over age 60. When we moved in, there were only two children in the whole place, which is +140 units!
What does my complex have that yours probably doesn’t?
- 102.9 Lite FM is piped through the hallways during the daytime. Yes, just the daytime. It is turned off every night around 8pm or so.
- A ‘Take-a-book/Leave-a-book’ bookcase full of old treasures. Today I scored a 6th edition (from 1961) copy of 500 Recipes by Request: From Mother Anderson’s Famous Dutch Kitchens. Awesome. *grin*
- A pretty good sized group of women does a Tai Chi exercise VHS tape together in the lobby some evenings. This ‘community benefit’ is not advertised anywhere. I think it’s a by-invite-only kind of thing. I find it totally adorable.
- Jigsaw puzzles sometimes appear in the lobby for tenants to put together. I’ve been so tempted to kidnap a few pieces for a couple of days, just to see if anyone notices! I’ve been good though.
- Cheap laundry!! A wash cycle is $1.00, and a dry cycle is $0.50. An entire load is clean for just $1.50! Around here that’s nearly unheard of!! It’s probably because half the renters can remember back to when it cost $0.25 to wash. At least one person has lived here since the place opened in the early 60′s.
I’m sure I’ve missed a few things, but those are the big ones. I’m really quite glad we moved here. The location isn’t perfect, only having close access to one bus line, but it’s totally homey and cool here. (Is it homey or homy? Google results seem to suggest it is both!? They’re listed as variants of each other… it’s an infinite loop!)
Hi, Neighbor!
Sometimes, I think think the ideal situation would be for me and my husband to live right next door to one another, each in our own little 1 bedroom apartment. We’d be happily married neighbors! A connecting door between our living rooms would be fine. He could decorate in the “1980′s lawyer look” (black shiny metal and glass, over stuffed seating) he likes, store all his collections of things, and be as messy as he wanted. I could pretend my apartment was a cute little city loft and paint the walls bright colors and shop at cool antique stores for furniture. Maybe someday when we get a house he can just have the basement all to himself and I can set up the upstairs my way. That’d be ok too.
Also, I’m weirdly sensitive to invading other people’s time and space, even my husband’s. Currently, I’m supposed to be unpacking stuff in the kitchen, but I dislike the idea of moving around the things he already unpacked, and I feel especially odd about moving my roommate’s stuff. Like earlier today, I moved some of his food storage containers to a higher shelf to make room for the spices, and it felt weird, like I should ask permission first.
Maybe it’s because I want to treat others how I’d like to be treated, and I really don’t enjoy finding my stuff rearranged without my advanced consent. When I was a kid, my mom used to reorganize my bedroom while I was off at school. It didn’t make me angry or upset really, I just found it chaotic not knowing where my stuff was, and I’ve never liked being surprised like that.
Maybe I just need to take a ‘big girl pill’ and get over myself. I can’t live in a bubble, even if I’d like to some days.
Affordable vs. Comfortable
We did a bunch of apartment hunting today. The place we were really looking forward to seeing ended up being more expensive than we hoped it would be. On their website they mentioned “one free month”, but they won’t pro-rate that savings over the length of the lease. Also, they only have one laundry room and it’s waaaaay too far from the available apartments. So yeah, it’s pretty much out of the running despite it’s gorgeous location and all the “extras” it offered.
We looked at two additional places that ended up being much higher on our “maybe” list. One is walking distance to my work, which is amazing for me, but it has very few amenities and is a little bit small at 950sqft. However, the price is right… only $900/month with heat included.
The other? It’s about 3 miles farther away from my work, when compared to where we live now, which might make biking less appealing. It’d likely turn my 20-25min ride into more of a 45min ride. It’d be fantastic exercise, but it’d also leave me a sweaty mess upon arrival. If I decide to take the bus instead, it’d be difficult for me to get home on the weekends without rearranging my work schedule. But, it’s larger, at 1000sqft, and has a washer and dryer in-unit. And an indoor pool, fitness room, and underground parking. However, it’s also $978/month, and you have to pay for your own gas/heat.
I dunno. Maybe I overestimate the effect of the price difference, especially considering the more expensive option is 3 miles closer to work for Jon, which means less gasoline. And we wouldn’t be using quarters for laundry, which would be nice. I can’t help but wonder though, will I get enough value out of the amenities to make up for the extra long commute? I’m not sure I would. *sigh* It’s tough though, because I know how much Jon would love to live there.
I wish this was easier!
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